my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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