One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize