the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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