I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize