i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she told me i tasted like america
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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