I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize