I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
