Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
