Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
