She announced her abortion via fbk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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