Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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