So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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