I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
