She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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