Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
