So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I look better un-naked...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
