Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
