What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
