The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
