so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
