Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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