He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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