all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize