is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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