he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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