At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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