I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
