Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize