I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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