Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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