very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
