so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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