why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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