After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
