Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
