She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
