Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
