you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
