come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
