My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she told me i tasted like america
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize