So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
