her vagine was all disorganized.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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