You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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