We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
