Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
