Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
