I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
