So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
