turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
