so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
