the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
