Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Boobs speak an international language.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
