There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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